Valentines Day – What’s Love Got to Do With It?


So it’s upon us once again, Valentines day. What exactly is Valentines day and where did it come from?

(Saint) Valentine’s Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14 by many people throughout the world. In the West, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine’s cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery. The day was originally a pagan festival that was renamed after two Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

So courtesy of we now have our definition of what Valentines day is but the question still remains… what does love have to do with it?

If you are a rational person with an average amount of intelligence the question is simple enough to answer. Love has absolutely nothing to do with Valentines day. The fact that love has nothing to do with Valentines day doesn’t take away from the fact that many people think it does. With that said I think we owe it to ourselves to really look further into the question what exactly is love. Since we’ve designated this one day out of 364 other days of the year to express our love to one another, between lovers I think its very important inquire into this.

This also raises another question, is there a difference between the love we share between lovers and our fellow neighbor or family?

Lets not start this inquiry with a jaded mind or catalog of conclusions to draw from. We’ve all got our previous experiences with lovers, the good, the bad and the ugly. Let us clear the slate right now, Ctrl-Alt-Delete so to speak… we’re wiping the hard drive clean so that we can look at this without any previous experience or judgments. With a clear mind we can now go forward and look at this factually and together perhaps get closer to understanding what love truly is.

So what is love?

loveI will be the first to tell you I haven’t the slightest clue as to what it is. I’ve grasped at it, I’ve said it and I’ve searched for it but I’m finding out searching for it seems to have pushed it further away. I’ve also recently come to the realization that searching for something I’ve never experienced is like the blind leading the blind. For a person like myself to actively search for love that would imply that I would know it when I found it. If I search for my keys that I’ve lost… its easy to know it when I find them because I’ve had my keys before, I know what I’m looking for. To search for something like love… oooh baby, that’s something entirely different.

How many of us say I LOVE YOU and really mean it? I’m sure all of us in our heart of hearts think we really mean it but can we dissect I LOVE YOU for the sake of love and see what we really mean?

LOVE certainly means different things from person to person doesn’t it? I mean I know from the day I was born to today my ideals of what love are all come from my experiences from childhood. A child of divorce, raised in a loving home but nevertheless this is my experience. I’ve also seen people who say they love one another curse and abuse one another, I’ve also seen people say I love you one day and the next they don’t because of some trivial event.

You on the other hand perhaps you were born into a foster home and never knew your parents and have wondered all your life, why nobody loves me? Maybe the guy or girl who lives across the street or hall from you has had the perfect childhood and got married to their childhood sweetheart. My point being that when we say I love you to one another it means so many different things, doesn’t it?

Even with all of our different experiences, histories and connotations of what it is to love someone, does love have anything to do at all with the past? Does love have anything to do with our remembrances and memories of one another? Is who you were yesterday or what you did a year ago have anything to do with the love I have for you now, should it?

Let’s set aside our ideas of love for a moment and look at love as an entity all by itself. Lets picture love… out there somewhere. There it is, love… pure love! Does it care what I’ve done in the past? Does pure love take into account how I treat people or how I carry myself as a human being? Does pure love not love me if I lie, cheat or steal from another?

In other words is does love have conditions? I find it hard to believe that it does, I find it impossible to believe that the true pure stuff of love, that vibrant energy that we are all created from has any conditions.

If love is pure and unconditional it has nothing to do with attachment, jealousy, anger, fear, skepticism or anything else like that. Don’t we find ourselves in our so called relationships so often jealous and envious? A week later we kiss and make up and its back to I love you.

Does love take vacations, is love there for you one moment and not the next?

I don’t claim to have any answers to these questions but I’m most certainly curious and think that its extremely important we all examine what we mean when we say I love you.

I can say one thing for certain, Valentines day has nothing to do with love. Valentines day does have EVERYTHING to do with expectations, anxiety, sex, lust, ego, confusion. I find it very ironic that the one day of the year were everybody proclaims to love one another this is probably the day were there is the least amount of real love in the world.

Valentines day, there’s nothing wrong with it… it great to feel nice to be acknowledged. Someone is thinking of you, someone took the time to buy you a nice gift, etc. However lets not buy into the hype let us not confuse these things with LOVE. To put any type of limitation on love would be a great disservice to you and I. Valentines will come and go just as quick as it came. Tomorrow all the cards will be put away into boxes or hung on walls, the chocolates will be eaten and we’ll go back to our daily lives.

I would like to live everyday in love, I’d like everyone to know I love them not just a select person. In order to do that I will continue on with my inquiry as to what love truly is. I suppose I’m one step closer now that I know Valentines day has nothing to do with it.

Peace and love,

~ Echo


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